funny
2004-07-17 at 2:12 a.m.
There are three kinds of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who ask, "What the Hell just happened?"
"When angry, count four, when very angry, swear."
"Mornings come whether you set the alarm clock or not."
A hard thing about business is minding your own.
Dieters - people who are thick and tired of it.
Some people develoe eye strain looking for trouble.
"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."
"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."
It maybe that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
Eat right, exercise daily, live clean, die anyway.
As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Out of my mind . . . be back in 5 minutes.
Never judge a book by its movie.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never argue with an idiot - They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
"The anatomical juxaposition of two orbicularus oris muscles in a state of contraction."
Dr. Henry Gibbons
"My first kiss can be summed up in one word: unsuccesful."
"How long was I in the army? 5 foot 11."
Be kind to unkind people. It gets to them! ;)
I'm sorry; do I look like I was listening?
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.
Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item.
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Quote of the Day: "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." -Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis
